the walls to his heart were built by harsh words
untangible
invisible
yet absolutely
unbreakable.

i know,
i tried.
Once
upon a time
he said, i never love,
so i never lose
so i never hurt.
i said,
no, you're hurting now.
you can't have happiness
without sadness.
then let me be empty forever,
he said.

then what's the point of life,
i asked.
what's the point of living.
he said he wanted to be empty
like a fragile overturned glass
but all he was was a stone,
full, hard, stable.
no way to empty
without irreversibly damaging
it.
him.

i wanted to love him.
he wanted to live.
i asked why can't we both have what we want
(lord knows, it would be the first time.)
he traced the corners of my eyes,
questioning their dampness.
i'm sorry,
i don't know how to be what you want.